Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Posted: Monday February 11, 2008 under Lead Myself

Bill O’Reilly (“The O’Reilly Factor”) and FOX News love to analyze the body language of famous people. They frequently invite body language expert, Tonya Reiman, to decipher what public figures are REALLY saying when they communicate on camera. Tonight, Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren asked her viewers to vote on whether or not they buy what the body language experts say.

Regardless of how you might vote on that question, you’ve probably heard that actions speak louder than words, and it’s true!

Words are powerful, but they can’t compare to the power of our actions. Studies suggest that over 90% of the meaning we derive from communication, we derive from the nonverbal cues that the other person gives, which means less than 10% is spoken or written. That’s quite an imbalance!

Body language is a form of nonverbal communication (physical actions that send messages without words). It primarily consists of gestures and postures. We might nod our head to show people that we understand or agree. We might stand at attention, slouch against a wall, or slump in a chair. We might fold our arms across our chest, wave our arms wildly, shake our finger at someone, give someone the finger, shrug our shoulders, fidget with our fingers, stamp our feet, twirl our hair, scratch our nose, give someone a firm handshake, and on and on.

Here are some body language tips:

• Talk with your hands and be expressive, but don’t overdo it (gesturing can be hard to evaluate on our own, so you may seek assistance).
• Stand and sit with an erect, yet comfortable and relaxed posture (slumping and slouching is unprofessional, and it can convey uncertainty and uneasiness).
• When seated, show interest by leaning forward and looking directly at the other person (people who lean back, doodle, look at the ceiling, or check their watch can appear disengaged.)
• Open up (people with folded arms and crossed legs are often perceived as bored, angry, or rejecting what they hear).
• Don’t fidget (no pen clicking, pencil tapping, hand wringing, hair twirling, or leg bouncing).

Some people tell me: “I’m naturally an unexpressive person. I sit with my arms folded in meetings, and I’m not very animated in my gestures or facial expressions, but I care and I’m as engaged as anyone else. People think I’m closed and critical, but I’m not. That’s just me. Do I need to change who I am, or just let people get to know me?”

We all communicate in different ways and we all have natural preferences. As long as we are aware of how people interpret our actions, and we don’t allow ourselves to send destructive or confusing messages, we should communicate in a way that is best for us. Still, improving sometimes means moving outside our comfort zone. Whether or not we buy into the accuracy of what body language experts say, there is no denying that our actions can, indeed, speak louder than our words.